So Your Kid Wants A Fidget Spinner

Alright parents, listen up. I may not be a parent, nor do I ever plan to become one, but I’ve been around kids enough to know better. My boyfriend has a nephew and niece, and I worked at a daycare once upon a time. So open your eyes and ears a little bit and kindly pay attention. Because I’m a little annoyed.

So your kid wants a fidget spinner. GREAT! If they need it, awesome, perfect, that’s great for them. If they don’t need it, then okay it’s just something to keep them busy, sure. You’re the parent, you get to decide. What you DON’T get to decide is the kind of spinner  they should have. Because this should just be a given.

 

You know those colorful fidget spinners you can get at Walmart for a cheap $5 or $6? The plastic ones that come in array of colors, patterns, and designs? Those ones that just capture your child’s eye and make them beg because they’re so colorful and cool? Those are the ones you should be getting. Those are the ones geared towards kids about 5 to 16(ish). And they’re colorful and neat and have designs and patterns for that very reason. Because those are the ones meant for tiny, clumsy, child hands.

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Not. Heavy. Sharp. Metal. Objects.

If you want your kid to play with a heavy, sharp metal object then just give them scissors and let them go to town. Because if you’re getting your kid spinners like those, then I mean what’s the difference? Scissors spin just the same.

Now I’m only super aggressively salty about this because it’s happened in the last week. Twice. My boyfriend’s nephew picked out a spinner that came in the mail. I couldn’t find an accurate photo and it’s packed away somewhere in my five bags for a road trip we’re going on, but this is as accurate as I could find.

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It was bought off Wish and he picked it out. Because it looked cool. So when it arrived, my boyfriend opened the packages for his mother (who bought it) and immediately came over to me once it was opened. He showed it to me at first stating he didn’t think that was a good idea. Then I took it from him and felt it for myself.

Folks, this thing was as heavy and sharp as they came (so I thought at the time . . . more on that coming right up). The picture I have here is very similar, however. The one we got is silver, had four openings with the pointed ends very much exposure and could touch and serrated on the top like dragon spikes or scales or whatever you want to call it. We did not feel at all comfortable letting him have it, knowing he’d take it to school once it was time and get in major trouble, or one of the neighbor kids would grab it from him and probably dick around with it. This thing could HURT. And in the matter of five minutes we had it, it’d been dropped almost on my boyfriend’s foot and it would have bruised something bad.

So we told my boyfriend’s mother, of course, that was a terrible idea and we’ll take it and use it. But he’d picked it out and was waiting for it. And if it didn’t show up, he would be upset and probably try to order it again.

See . .  my thing is. It doesn’t matter. If it’s too dangerous for a seven year old, that’s the final line of it. He can’t have it, he can pick out something else that isn’t heavy, metal, and sharp. Those types of spinners are for , well , collecting unfortunately. Or at the very least, young adults 18-20 something who hopefully wouldn’t abuse it or take it to school or whatever. Some might still, sure, but kids are unpredictable and clumsy. It wasn’t safe.

A few days later, we got . . . . this thing.

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This is even sharper than the first one, but less heavy. You can’t even spin it normally, you have to put your finger through the hole to do it. Apparently, the nephew’s mother picked this one out because again. IT LOOKED COOL.

My friends, I shouldn’t have to say this twice. But again, we opened it and my boyfriend told HIS mom that his nephew cannot have that one either. Regardless of if the boy’s mom picked it out or not. These things he cannot have! I said it earlier: they make the plastic, colorful, bright and fun pattern ones for a reason. I know kids want “cool” things and pick out stuff like this. But as an adult and especially as a PARENT you have to absolutely put your foot down. These things can be dangerous and used as weapons or cause accidental injury.

So if it happens, unfortunately it IS on you. The adult.

Don’t buy your young children these types of spinners, please, I am begging you. You are the adult here. You make the decisions for your children 90% of the time. Don’t let this be the one thing you slip up. Be fuckin’ smart about fidget spinners for your young children. There are so many more by the dozens of thousands out there you can buy. They’re literally EVERYWHERE right now, so it’s not hard to find safe spinners for your kids.